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"Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines." Source and Author: Unknown
"Early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese."Source and Author: Unknown
"I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol."Source and Author: Unknown
"I love defenseless animals, especially in a good gravy."Source and Author: Unknown
"If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?"Source and Author: Unknown
"If you ain't makin' waves, you ain't kickin' hard enough!"Source and Author: Unknown
"Support bacteria they're the only culture some people have."Source and Author: Unknown
"The only substitute for good manners is fast reflexes."Source and Author: Unknown
"When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane."Source and Author: Unknown
"Ambition is a poor excuse for not having enough sense to be lazy."Source and Author: Unknown
"Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder...."Source and Author: Unknown
"24 hours in a day...24 beers in a case...coincidence?"Source and Author: Unknown
"Many people quit looking for work when they find a job."Source and Author: Unknown
"Everyone has a photographic memory. Some don't have film."Source and Author: Unknown
"Who is General Failure and why is he reading my hard disk?"Source and Author: Unknown
"Energizer Bunny arrested, charged with battery."Source and Author: Unknown
"I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder."Source and Author: Unknown
"Shin: a device for finding furniture in the dark."Source and Author: Unknown
"How do you tell when you run out of invisible ink?"Source and Author: Unknown
"Join the Army, meet interesting people, kill them."Source and Author: Unknown
"Laughing stock: cattle with a sense of humor."Source and Author: Unknown
"Wear short sleeves! Support your right to bare arms!"Source and Author: Unknown
"For Sale: Parachute. Only used once, never opened, small stain."Source and Author: Unknown
"OK, so what's the speed of dark?"Source and Author: Unknown
"Corduroy pillows: They're making headlines!"Source and Author: Unknown
"Black holes are where God divided by zero."Source and Author: Unknown
"All those who believe in psychokinesis raise my hand."Source and Author: Unknown
"I tried sniffing Coke once, but the ice cubes got stuck in my nose."Source and Author: Unknown
"I once tried to microwave instant coffee, and went back in time."Source and Author: Unknown
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